Before They Turn The Lights Out

            This world is wicked and wearisome. The time and the toil take their little ticks off you. Bit by bit they can fade away a shadow into something paper thin.
            But I keep going.
            Fighting and fearless but really just completely foolhearty, I keep going.
            I wade the deep waters as if I’m an Olympic swimmer.
            I give punches like I’m some kind of professional fighter.
            But this is the only fight I know in a profession I love.
            I don’t understand the technology anymore. I don’t know whose side to stand on in publishing battles. I see the sides of traditional verses Indie and understand the whole eBook verses actual book thing.
            Yet all I know are the stories I want to tell.
            Imagined and real.
            Unbelievable and unseen.
            I want to sew and stitch till I somehow get them right. Right in the only way I know how to get right. The weary, worrisome right.
            I want to battle this world and this time and tell some kind of truly original story.
            30 plus but I haven’t forgotten. I haven’t given up. I haven’t stopped seeing.
            I still imagine that. Yes I do.
            I still believe that. Yes I do.
            I still am the only champion in this arena. And I yell out day after day to myself.
            And day after day I ask the world “Are you not entertained?”
            But the world gives me a big, fat shrug. So I keep on.
            Hoping to find it.
            Hoping to tell it.
            Hoping to figure it out.
            So many ways to tell a story. So many ways to reach people. So many opportunities. So many of so many things.
            So I have to simply keep going.
            Few really know and fewer even care. But that’s okay.
            I want to hear that sweet song singing to me at night. I want to try as hard as I can before the lights go out.
            I’m half blind and half confused and half delirious. But I’m trying my hardest.
            And I’m trying a little harder than that.
            We live in an indifferent, individualistic time. Everybody knows everything.
            Yet I’m still searching the crowd to find and to figure it out.
            So I’m going to love and keep listening.
            And I’m going to keep going.
            That’s all I can stay.
            Until tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the next century.
            Until the lights go out. 

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