I just listened to this amazing track by a band I just discovered called The Temper Trap. The song is called "Rabbit Hole" and while listening to it, I felt inspired to write a chapter in Hurt which I'm currently revising.
The novel is finished so this chapter might not even get in. This is very rough but that's okay. For those of you interested, here you go. I do this sort of thing all the time. This is fun for me. More than fun, I should say it's a part of me that comes from feeling moved by a song and an idea. I've done this many, many times while writing The Solitary Tales.
Chapter ???: Rabbit Hole
Maybe this is what my story is all about. A guy being the hero. A guy finding his fate. A kid suddenly growing up and finding something about life.
Something awful. Something terrible.
I want to run away but I’m forced to be here. I want to bury myself but I’m forced to wait.
To tick off the time and to shackle my heart and soul.
Inside this hole.
To only see what I can’t see.
And to feel what I don’t want to feel.
I don’t want to go there.
I don’t want to go near there.
I don’t want to go underground.
I don’t want to see the black anymore.
I don’t want to see the black or the grays or the haze or the blurry mess.
I can feel my heart beating and waiting and wondering.
Wondering what will happen and who will make it out alive and who will die. I know death is inevitable for us and I know that it’s coming and I can feel it’s breath against the back of my neck like some horror movie. Like the horror movie that’s been playing out for the past 20 months.
20 months of this nonsense.
20 months of this insanity.
I will finally figure it out won’t I? To see if the girl stays with me or ends up as another sacrifice. To see if my family stays intact or if it splinters in the ashes. To finally see.
I have waited long enough.
I want answers.
Every which way I agree.
I will be hunted and I know I will be found.
I just wonder if the world will listen and if they will even care what’s happening in this sweet little tranquil town called Solitary. Where the blood flows and the water pours and the endless madness never ever stops.
I want to run away but I can’t.
I have to stay here and I have to fight.
There’s the hole I need to go down and I need to finally suck it up and start descending.
Right this instant.
This teen is about to turn into a man and this might be the first and last glimpse of what he finally could and should be.
Labels: journey, on writing, Ramblings