Make Your Resolutions NOW!

January 1, 2012.

It’s just another day.

The same as the day before.

If you want to change something change it now.

If you want to be a better person start here and now and tonight.

Don’t wait until a number is added to a year.

Don’t wait until January becomes February becomes springtime becomes another blown resolution.

If you want to do something do it now.

Carve it into your life. Don’t add it but take a knife and begin cutting away. It won’t be easy but that’s why they’re so easy to neglect.

If you want to do something do it today before the sun sets or before midnight rolls over in bed.

If you want to try something outrageous do it without telling anybody else.

If you want to finally be the person you want to be then do it.

It’s just another day. Morning will come and perhaps it will be colder and the date will change but it doesn’t really matter, does it? It’s all in your head. It’s all just a mind thing anyway.

Change the pattern. Break the habit. Start a new trend. Create a lasting tradition.

It’s not easy. But find the joy in it. Whatever “it” might be. Whittle away to try and make time for it. But do it and make time. Do it and keep doing it. Do it and don’t let the date fool you.

It’s not about January 1.

It’s about believing that you can do something. It’s about trying. It’s about failing. And it’s about standing back up again and trying again.

The new year awaits and so do the goals and the resolutions. Make a long list. I do every year. But then again, I make long lists every month and every week. That’s my own insanity. Yet out of the insanity comes progress.

Set a goal and then do it. It’s that simple. Be relentless. Don’t give in. Keep it front and center. Keep it important in life’s chaos. Keep at it. Just keep at it over and over again.

Cheers!

Farewell, 2011

A tornado of a year comes to an end today. A very blurry, bewildering, and breathtaking year. A very full year.

So much could be said. So many times I say way too much.

All I will say is cheers and happy new year. Wishing the best for you and your loved ones in 2012.

7 Hours Project

A very cool project I can officially announce that will be coming out in 2012 is called 7 Hours and there are seven authors attached to it.

Intrigued? Go to our Facebook page where we'll be sharing more info as we get closer to the release date.

The project is built off a simple premise.

The other authors are Mike Dellosso, Rene Gutteridge, Ronie Kendig, Robin Parrish, Tom Pawlik, and James Andrew Wilson.

The publisher is Tyndale House Publishers.

The targeted publication date is May, 2012.

More details coming very soon . . .

J.A. Konrath, LOST, and A Grand Plan For E-publishing

A few years ago at a local author fair, I met novelist J.A. Konrath. I'd heard about the suspense writer for some time because he lived in the Chicago suburbs like me and he was far more prolific at booksignings. After the event, I talked to him for a few minutes and he invited me to hang out and have a beer with him.

For the next hour or so, I spoke with and listened to someone who knew far more about the publishing industry than I did. I was surprised, to be honest. As someone who had worked in publishing over thirteen years along with being a full-time novelist, I rarely encountered someone with more experience and knowledge than myself. Granted, I also rarely hung out at author conferences or book fairs. But speaking to Konrath was a revelation.

This was a few years ago before he would become a posterchild in the publishing industry as "the e-book guy". I began following him online and noticed things he said and did regarding this coming wave of E-publishing. Konrath didn't say it was coming but announced that it was already here. He detailed in long posts on his blog "A Newbie's Guide To Publishing" about his forays into publishing ebooks. He was very frank and honest, especially when it came to talking about publishing.

It took me a while to believe what Konrath and others were talking about. Sometimes his gloating got on my nerves. But I couldn't discount what he was talking about. I agreed with many of the things he said about traditional publishing, even when he openly mocked or bashed the people or the process. He's had an amazing amount of success diving into the waters of self-publishing & ebooks.

So why am I talking about Konrath and giving him more publicity? It's to share a little about what my plans were in 2011 and heading into 2012.

For some time now, I've had this Lost-esque series idea. I actually began to talk to a major publisher about that idea in the summer of 2010. We emailed back and forth and I would go on to shape and hone this idea as we communicated. The questions that came out of the conversations and emails resulted in a much better premise.

By January, 2011, the prospect of publishing this series with this house looked very promising. After sending them a revised overview of this very ambitious and very dense series, the publisher sent my agent and me this response: "It was like Christmas opening this long-anticipated overview. And wow--Travis delivers."

Following that were familiar expressions I'd heard over the years in publishing like "break Travis to a new level" and "will require a publishing partner more strategically focused than Travis has had at this point".

I was on board and very excited.

So by March of 2011, after many hours spent on this series idea, I felt like it was really going to happen. Then after one of those wonderful publisher meetings, this publisher came back to me with a different tune. My sales (the only thing that tends to really matter in those meetings) were low. My brand was non-existent and needed "re-launching." The sample chapters I'd turned in lacked a distinct voice (as if all the other books I'd published in my lowly career weren't worth even checking out since they underperformed). And most of all, I needed to stay in ONE genre and ONE box and couldn't have any other books released. No collaborations, nothing.

After a conversation on the phone at the end of March, I had a choice to make.

It didn't take me long to realize I wasn't going to partner with this publisher. They wanted me to risk everything for a low advance (one that would require getting another job), for high restrictions (no more collaborations or anything other than books with them), and for no guarantee. This publisher guaranteed they'd take me to the next level, but they seemed to forget that I had spent 13 years listening to publishers tell that to authors. It rarely happens, and if it does, many times it's just blind luck.

The conversation had been to make this a three-book trilogy and to release all the books in one year. To make it feel like a publishing event. I was all for it and was going to get started. It might have even been able to come out in 2012. But I told them that the deal-breaker was not being able to collaborate. I wanted to do more books with people like Jimmy Wayne. What if another huge name in music or the entertainment industry was suddenly interested in having me write a book for them? It was a no brainer and I said thanks but no.

Suddenly, my thoughts shifted toward E-publishing. I brainstormed and planned and schemed and I decided that I was going to plunge into the deep end of the ocean with this series. I expanded the story back to my original idea of five novels and I was going to publish them all in 2012. I wrote four very different novels from January, 2010 to September, 2010, so why couldn't I write five novels in a series and release them in the same year?

This was the plan. For those who read this blog, I began to detail about this under the header of THS. Look at the blog labels for posts on that. I began the story that was already mapped out with detailed character sketches and timelines and everything. I wrote 10,000 words.

Then something happened.

I guess I'll say that I woke up and smelled the coffee. But I believe it was more than that.

I think it was God answering a prayer of mine asking for wisdom and guidance when it seemed like a bunch of doors were shutting. I woke up the morning after some very earnest prayers the night before and the thought of publishing FIVE books in one year seemed ridiculous.

I thought, Nobody wants five novels from me in the same year! It's hard to get people to be interested in one novel of mine!

I also thought, Do I want five Coldplay albums in the same year? Or five David Fincher movies (kill us all now)? No way.

So I put that project on hold. I still hope and plan for it to happen, because it's an amazing story. I traveled down to North Carolina this summer to research and brainstorm. It's my version of Lost. It's my version of Stephen King's The Stand. But most of all, it's my magnum opus.

I realized that if this was indeed my magnum opus, then it deserved more than rushing it out and releasing it as ebooks simply because I could. Doesn't mean I won't self-publish it, but I just want more time to build the story. The 10,000 words I initially wrote felt stale. They didn't live up to the story's full potential.

Since I decided to step back and rethink things, a few things have happened. I'm going to share them this week since this blog post is almost 10,000 words itself! But the things I'm going to share wouldn't have had the opportunity to happen had I signed up with that publisher limiting so many career options.

God opened a few doors at the very end of this year when I least expected Him to. I'm extremely thankful about these opportunities and I'm excited to see what will happen with them.

If that Lost/The Stand idea sounds compelling to you, it should. It sure sounds compelling to me, and I've spent so much time working on it. I know where it ends and how it ends and the answers to the questions I will ask. Maybe, God willing, I'll write that series. We'll see. But there are some other really cool things I need to do first.

I hope those of you who have come this far with me continue to stay along for the ride. There are some fun places we'll be going very soon.

Tintin

Before Indiana Jones inspired me, there was Tintin.

I lived in Munich, Germany from second to fourth grades. Sometime during those years I discovered the famous European comics created by a Belgian artist named Georges Remi (pen name Herge). The main character is a young reporter who goes on wild adventures spanning the globe (think a PG-rated James Bond minus the girls). Once I began to read these stories, I started to go ahead and create my own.

Today I went to see Steven Spielberg's The Adventures of Tintin. While I don't use this blog to review things like movies and music, I have to say I loved the film. I had read the original comic with this particular story, yet I truly found it coming to life. The spirit reminded me of the original Raiders of the Lost Ark. But as Spielberg has said in interviews, Herge knew how to tell an adventure story long before George Lucas and he came up with Indiana Jones.

In third grade, my teacher encouraged me in my writing. My fourth grade teacher read to us every day from C.S. Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia. Those two things helped inspire me to want to become a writer.

Tintin, however, helped cement that desire.

I love that Spielberg has helped introduce Tintin to the American audience. I look forward to seeing the next installment of Tintin on the big screen directed by Peter Jackson.

As for my foray into the adventure genre, I've only gone there once. I created Henry Wolfe with the desire to tell a dozen stories like this. But oh well . . . that's another story.

This Is Not Twilight Or The Hunger Games

I have no desire to copy.

I’ve done that before and had fun with that.

But The Solitary Tales doesn’t copy. It uses familiar elements of different genres and storylines, sure. But it’s very, very distinctly me.

Is that a selling point? Of course not.

I had a little idea of what I wanted to do when I first dreamed up this series. But it’s become much, much more.

Not necessarily the story. That’s remained the same, even as the backstory and the plotlines and the mysteries have grown and evolved.

No.

This series is all about Chris Buckley.

It’s about a teenager learning about life and love. It’s about his emotions throughout that journey. And I feel I remained true to those emotions. Curious, terrified, sarcastic, passionate, sad, wandering . . . these describe Chris.

Hopefully he’s likable enough to become a hero.

Hopefully his occasional idiotic actions will still make us want to cheer him on.

Hopefully his age and his outlook won’t matter to the reader.
My hope is that there will be readers still wondering what it feels like to be sixteen or seventeen. And there will be other readers who will have a hard time trying to remember what those ages felt like.

I want the reader to feel 16 or 17 again.

Amidst a crazy saga full of light and darkness, that’s what I wanted to get at with The Solitary Tales.

It’s about a teenager trying to deal with life.

Every year there will be a new trend in publishing. Movie studios will clamor for the next big thing. Readers will discover something else new and exciting. That’s just reality.

But being a teenager isn’t a trend and isn’t a genre. It’s part of life.

Today I sent Hurt to my editor. I’ll still be spending a lot more time in Solitary, North Carolina working on the two books coming out in 2012. Hopefully I’ll be able to tell a few more backstories as well. But Chris’s high school story is finished.

My hope is that there will be many, many readers out there who get a chance to read and enjoy Chris’s story.

If you're one of them, spread the word. I can shout all day about how great this series is, but I'm just the crazy author.

The crazy, exhausted, and satisfied author.

Give, Hope, & Let Go

Sometimes book projects don't turn out the way you hoped they might.

Sometimes book projects turn out better than expected.

Doesn't change one rule: give it your all, hope for the best, and let go of all the doubt you might have.

(I'm still learning about that whole "letting go" part)

First Annual TT Christmas Party

What a night.

The first annual Travis Thrasher Christmas party was held tonight. It exceeded all expectations. It truly was an amazing experience.

Companies all have their Christmas parties. So why can’t novelists? Since this was such a big year for me and since next year is going to be even bigger, I figured why not go all out? If the Mayans are right about the world ending in 2012, I figured I better celebrate while I can.

With four books released this year (and another writing book and novella released as e-books), I wanted to do something special.

I wanted to celebrate with all of those who made this year truly wonderful.

So at the brewery in Aurora that we rented out for this event, I invited all the important people in my writing career. My agent, Claudia, of course. My primary editor, L.B. My many publishing friends, like Barry and Don and Becky and Karen and many others. I had others from their respective publishing houses come, some who have worked very hard on my books.

But those were just the start. I had my top 25 fans attend. I paid for their way to come. (And don’t think I don’t know who you are Jake and Josh and Stephanie and John and . . . well, I could go on).

Others were at my party as well. I was able to get a musician to perform for free. That’s never been done in the history of all music everywhere. Jimmy Wayne came on his own dime. (He simply asked for a nice donation of $25,000 to the Angel Tree program).

Emceeing tonight was myself. Too much? Absolutely. But I’ve never been able to resist getting up in front of people and making an arse of myself.

I started the night with a funny video about being a fulltime writer. I talked about the stresses of bills and paying insurance and not being able to pay bills and insurance. The video talked about our three girls and I showed nightly clips of me coming home exhausted to a house full of wailing. It’s funny to joke because this is SO not my life. The staff we employ helps out with the children. Thankfully. Don’t know what I’d do if they didn’t.

After a wonderful dinner, I was able to share a little about how much I appreciate everybody. I tried to keep it short because hearing my voice for so long gets tiring. Then I shared some of the reader comments from the books released this year. From my favorite all time book I’ve written, 40. From Gravestone. From my two collaborations, Letters From War and Paper Angels.

Then I shared a little about what’s coming in 2012. The final two Solitary Tales books. That novella which is a small part of something big. And then other things I’m hoping and praying about.

Jimmy Wayne got up and instead of performing his own stuff, he surprised me by performing a bunch of Coldplay songs. Then on the final song, he allowed me to come up and assist with a really really bad synth version of "Paper Angels". Everybody started to dance and then we proceeded to dance for the next hour. It was great, and at the end of the night, everybody left gifts that went to Forgotten Angels in the Salvation Army Angel Tree program.

Whew.

Now I’m sitting home thinking what a fun night it was to see all of the people I work with on a regular basis. The people I email and email. The people I bounce ideas off of and the ones I share thoughts with. All those who are vital to this writing thing I have.

Of course, I make up things for a living, and if you really think I had a Christmas party like this tonight, well . . . I’ll invite you next year.

One day, I’d love to do something like this. Not to celebrate ME but to thank all of those who allow me to do the thing I love.

If I ever had enough time and money, I’d do it.

Just like writing a book exclusively for my fans. And giving it to them for free.

Just as a way of saying thanks.

I might not say it enough or show it enough, but I am thankful. To anybody who has worked with me and anybody who has read one of my books.

I’ve been a hamster on a wheel running and running for the last few years. It’s easy to not be able to say enough. Or show enough. I really try.

If I could, I’d have a celebration where I could say thanks and where everybody could dance.

Jimmy Wayne would have to be a part of it somewhere, not because he’s a celebrity but because he’s one of the greatest guys I’ve ever known. And he laughs at my jokes.

To my colleagues, and to my fans and readers, I want to say thank you.

I joke on this blog, but I take my work very seriously. I take all of you very seriously as well.

There are some exciting things ahead. I will continue to try my hardest and see what doors open.

Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones!

Ten Reasons I Love John Hughes

Christmastime is nearing and many of us will be watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (two or three times). Like It's A Wonderful Life, it's a tradition in our house.

I'm watching it now and it reminded me that the writer of this film was John Hughes. Yeah, that John Hughes. Pretty In Pink. 16 Candles. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.

This reminded me of a blog I wrote for someone this summer and I thought I'd share it again. I miss John Hughes for his humor but more for his heart. What an amazing talent.

Here are ten reasons why I love John Hughes. (The original blog was written for The Solitary Tales in mind)

Ten Reasons I Love John Hughes

When I first pitched The Solitary Tales to publishers, I said it was a combination of Pretty In Pink mixed with The Exorcist. That was exaggerating, of course, but I wanted to instantly conjure up the teen angst and love in the John Hughes film mixed in with a darker and creepier story.

Whether or not that formula works, I know one thing: the formula John Hughes had worked. I grew up loving his movies and I still love them. Here are ten reasons why I love those movies:

The Music.

Music matters in his movies. It's not just an audio backdrop (though the backdrop he provides is really some kind of wonderful). Witness the use of "Elegia" by New Order in Pretty In Pink. This follows a poignant moment between father and daughter. Andy (Molly Ringwald) doesn't know what' s happening with her prom date. It could be corny or cliched, but Hughes picks the perfect piece of music and then sews it in like magic.

A Hopeless Romantic.

At the core of every John Hughes film is a beating heart that’s unafraid to be bold and to blush. Whether it’s teen love or the love a businessman has for his family, Hughes knows how to pull on your heartstrings in real and authentic ways.

Funny.

John Hughes was the writer of comedy classics like Mr. Mom and National Lampoon’s Vacation not to mention the movies he directed. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is still one of my top five comedies ever.

Family Matters.

Yes, family is important, even if it's broken and dysfunctional. John Hughes knew about families because he was a husband and a father. The stories he wrote had autobiographical details scattered all over them. I could relate to the character in Sixteen Candles when I was sixteen. And I found that years later, I ended up relating to Kevin Bacon’s character in She’s Having a Baby. While Hughes sometimes mocked families, he still showed that it’s an important and vital thing in one’s life.

The Chicago Suburbs.

Who would have thought when I first saw his films that I'd end up moving to the very place he was showing?

Casting.

Yes, we all know the leads. But consider Jon Cryer as Duckie. What an unforgettable part. Consider James Spader as Steff. What a septic character study. So many of his films have so many amazing actors cast so well.

Passion.

Combine music, hopeless romanticism, and humor, and what do you have? Passion. Just witness the scene where Duckie does karaoke in the record store to Otis Redding’s “Try A Little Tenderness.” This wasn’t a throwaway scene. This was pivotal and passionate.

Tender.

Hughes handles all his characters (even the bad ones) with a tender touch. This is always good when writing characters

Authenticity.

One thing I’m always trying to get right in my writing is having emotional authenticity. Regardless of what the story was about, every Hughes film has this emotional authenticity.

Girls.

John Hughes understood girls, and very few guys understand girls. His most likable and moving characters were always the female leads that we were rooting for.

John Hughes passed away on August 6, 2009. His talents will be missed, but his gifts will be appreciated for a very long time.

On Finishing The Solitary Tales

I'm finishing the fourth and final book in my teen series The Solitary Tales this week. I still can't believe this idea has resulted in close to 400,000 words detailing Chris Buckley and his time in a creepy North Carolina town called Solitary.

The idea began in Greenville, South Carolina when I showed up to a busy bookstore one Sunday afternoon for a booksigning. I saw the poster outside but the name and the time on the poster were wrong. Somebody else was signing at this store on this day. I discovered the mix-up and politely told the staff that it was fine. Since my aunt had dropped me off at the store, I decided to go next door and grab a bite to eat.

It was there while sitting outside on the patio eating chips and salsa and sipping on a margarita that the idea came to me. Take a teen moving to a creepy town down south who falls in the love with the wrong girl. I mapped out the story right there and filled a few pages in my writing notebook.

The idea was like the 100 other ideas I've gotten which have potential. Fortunately, a few other things happened.

A publishing executive championed it despite the fact that there's absolutely no interest in supernatural teen fiction in the Christian market.

I was able to work with my longtime editor who has done ten of my books.

David C. Cook let me tell the story my way. This includes the writing style--short, choppy, sometimes even stream-of-conciousness-like. This includes the darker stuff mixed with pop culture references. And of course this includes that ending for book one.

This series has morphed into something more. Sales-wise, it hasn't done much. I'm probably more to blame than the publisher. Publishing novels all over the board, having twins right before book one was released, releasing a book a month before book two was published. But . . .

I think this is a pretty awesome series. Love it or hate it, it's got a truly original voice. The storylines might be familiar, but the way it's told is definitely unique.

I love The Solitary Tales because, in essence, it's my nod to my teenage years. I could share all the ways how, but that's only important to me. The story is what matters. Chris Buckley's journey matters. The mysteries that unfold, the characters who come across his path, how he evolves and changes and grows up.

I'm really curious how people will judge the series in its entirety. But I'm not worrying about that. There's absolutely no pressure on me. If each book had sold two million copies, I might be worried. But I'm not. I think I'm going to do a pretty awesome job ending it.

Whether the rest of the world will feel that way, or even bother to check it out, remains to be seen. All I can do is try my best. And that's what I'm doing.

It's going to be nice to get out of Solitary for a while. Series are fun but they are still a lot of work. Especially ones with a hundred unanswered mysteries. I answer a bunch of them. Maybe seventy-five or eighty.

April and September of 2012. They'll be here before we know it.

Exit Stage Left

So I finally had a chance to write my Christmas novel.

Being me, that means I don’t want to do another one. At least not for a while. The world has Richard Paul Evans and he can be that Christmas story guy. Paper Angels was a unique story and an incredible experience to be a part of. There’s no way I can duplicate it. Even if I (hopefully) go on to do more collaborations with Jimmy Wayne.

I’m nearing the end of The Solitary Tales. One more week. We’ll see who lives and who dies in Solitary, North Carolina. We’ll see if Chris makes it out of there. Questions will be answered, but of course not every answer will be a pretty or likable one.

Then what?

Good question.

I have some answers, but in my world, things change on a weekly basis.

Sometimes because a door opens or shuts. Sometimes because an idea sprouts to life or falls apart. Sometimes just because.

The plan I had for 2012 changed. I was going to do something big and outrageous. But then I thought—will anybody really, truly care? Something’s only big and outrageous if it gets noticed and talked about. I didn’t want to kill myself just to say I did something massive and killed myself. I might have done that years ago but I can’t, not in my present pink world with three daughters depending on my sanity.

There’s a part of me that would really sorta love to finish The Solitary Tales and then just disappear for a while. Maybe it's time. Take a break and live life and get a real job. Keep writing but slow down. Or write under a pen name. Or just write to practice.

Yeah.

Then again, there are those stories that have come to life over the past few years.

There’s the big one—the massive one that has already started. That’s a keeper. Somebody needs to carry on the torch that Lost lit, even if it comes in the form of novels. So yeah, that one is mapped out and already started and . . . we’ll see.

Then there’s that Hunger Games-esque trilogy that Coldplay’s latest album has inspired. That’s not a just a fun idea. It’s already done in my head. Call me a copycat—I couldn’t write a series like that author did. My result would be—well, it would be distinctly me.

There’s the fun little trip back in time that’s going to happen. Yeah. More on that soon.

There’s also the love story idea that’s being talked about. That’s a really good possibility.

Yeah, there are more collaborations that have potential. There are other ideas that a longshots. There are stories that are in the initial stages of being worked on.

I have been trying to make the most of being a fulltime writer. Because tomorrow or next week or next year, I might not be one anymore. I’m okay with that.

Eighteen stories into this writing world, I feel I’ve told some decent stories.

And I honestly feel like this: if God grants me another thirty or forty years of life, I’m really going to knock a few of these stories out of the park. I really feel like I’m just getting warmed up and figuring things out.

We’ll see what happens. But for now, I'm stuck in Solitary. Hoping for some light at the end of this dark tunnel . . .

Paper Angels Snippet

Every novel that's written has storylines that get changed and tweaked. Sometimes throughout the process of working on a story, significant portions will get tossed for various reasons. I've shared bits of this before on this blog and wanted to share some more for Paper Angels written by Jimmy Wayne and myself.

Here's a portion devoted to Kevin and one of the people working underneath him.

(Paper Angels Deleted Scene #1)

Christmas always seemed to make him melancholy, but Kevin wasn’t exactly sure why.

There were two sets of Christmas experiences that he could look back on growing up. The first set was when his parents had money, and the second set was when they didn’t have any. As much as he’d love to say that the latter memories were more fun and meaningful, he couldn’t. He couldn’t even really remember them, not as well as the Christmas mornings when they’d rush to the family room to see all the toys Santa had dropped off. The Christmas mornings after Dad had lost his job were always stressful and unsure. It wasn’t the lack of gifts that made Kevin sad. It was the lack of certainty in Mom and Dad that seemed to filter down to him.

As a teen, he’d made a vow that his family would always feel secure. He wanted them to trust him to provide for their needs, no matter what. He didn’t want to go overboard on Christmas but still wanted to make sure they loved the holiday and felt loved throughout it. He wanted his family to always feel certain of his care, of his love, especially around Christmastime, even if it meant working extra hard.

Now the season made him more than melancholy. It wore him out. With all the pressure and stress he was under, the last thing he wanted to think about was the right gift for the right person and keeping everyone in his family perfectly happy.

Stop already.

Kevin sat in his weekly meeting with one of his top designers, Zack Cradles. The guy was talking as his usual highly energized, highly caffeinated self always did and Kevin had to concentrate on listening to him.

“So I gotta tell you I have some pretty awesome news.”

Kevin feigned interest and curiosity but he already knew. He would’ve bet a hundred bucks what it was. But this indifference again pinched at his soul.

Where’s the Christmas cheer, Kev?

Zack was the kid on Christmas morning eager and excited about rushing downstairs to get to the tree.

Bah humbug.

It wasn’t that he was a Scrooge or a Grinch around this time of year. He didn’t need some life revival like George Bailey in It’s a Wonderful Life. Kevin felt like he could identify best with Charlie Brown from the Christmas episode, questioning the true meaning of the holiday while walking around in a state of angst and melancholic longing. The Snoopys of life hounded him. Just like Zack, who seemed so inexplicably happy, like a little kid or a puppy. Happy-go-lucky. And it was fine except for the fact that Kevin wanted to reach across the desk and wrap up that happy face and smug smile and send them to the North Pole.

“I’m going to propose on Christmas morning.”

“That’s great.”

Kevin wondered what Zack’s bride-to-be name was. He sure hoped her name wasn’t Robin, or else she’d suffer a lifetime of abuse.

“Do you have a ring picked out?”

“Yep. It’s in my bag, hold on.”

Zack slipped out of the office. As Kevin waited, a familiar, mocking chant played in his mind.

The twins are coming the twins are coming the twins are coming the twins are comin'.

Zack came back and showed off the ring. It really was a rock.

Kevin couldn’t think about the bride’s happiness or Zack’s generosity. All he could think about was the money involved. “I bet it set you back some.”

“Oh, yeah. But I’ve been saving.”

Why was everybody he met these days a better saver and investor than he was? Or, as his father-in-law put it, a better “steward with his money”?

“Good for you.”

And good for Robin Cradles.

Kevin smiled drily and continued listening to Zack.

The meeting went on another fifteen minutes. Yeah, sure, busyness was one thing and time was another, but sometimes you simply needed to stop and shut up the thoughts taking over your mind and celebrate with someone else. Try to let their joy be yours. This was what Kevin tried to do, but it was all forced.

By the time Zack left his office, Kevin felt like a failure.

He had started this job and this office to be different from his competitors. He wanted to strive for something unique, for a breath of fresh air in today’s business climate. Yet he wasn’t just trying to climb up a ladder. He was attempting to jettison up it as fast as he could. Not for anything other than security. And security in this day and age was becoming a rare thing.

Zack’s youthful energy and elation were a mirror of what Kevin used to be. Before the job became his life, and his life became about keeping that job.

Life is so quick. You blink and you’re almost forty.

He couldn’t share this thought with his young designer friend. Zack would discover that in his own time. And hopefully he’d be a little better prepared.

***

Jenny and Gregory’s smiles lit up the office. On busy days and stressful days Kevin would glance at the photo and remind himself. If he was talking to an demanding client on the phone, he’d stare at his family’s faces to gain a little sanity.

The picture is nice, he thought, but it’s no ATM machine. A couple of aspirin could help the headache but it couldn’t cure the cancer. And he was getting very close to losing the battle. Very close.

In the picture he saw the colorful bracelet on his wife’s wrist bearing the letters WWJD. But Kevin wasn’t really interested in what Jesus would do. This wasn’t something Kevin would admit to anybody, but it was the truth.

It was more like, what would Charlie Brown do? WWCBD.

He opened the draw of his desk and pulled out the tag. The paper angel with the writing on it. He reread the name and the description of the presents underneath.

Then, for the next hour or so, he surfed the Internet looking for gifts and pricing them out and trying to figure out where to start.

If someone like Zack could go crazy and afford a big rock like that, the least Kevin could do was put some thought and time behind the gifts he was going to give to “Tom.”

Sure, this was another thing on his to-do List, but Kevin wanted to do this right. He wanted to make sure he wanted to do it.

He wanted to make Charlie Brown happy.